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枫下家园 / 人到中年 / 我当年离婚前也发贴，既是发泄也是求馈，也招致很多不必要的烦恼。我只想根据自己经验说，这种处境下的当事者多半都心理脆弱并容易过度自卫！旁人和当事者都应该认识理解这点。当然你也可以继续做一个“发帖机器”。
-hsl(胡司令);
2012-2-21
(#7299898@0)
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欣赏这种换位思考 empathy (putting self in others shoes) thought ~ ~
-sr-71(Blackbird);
2012-2-21
(#7299907@0)
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Agree with you.
-bigjoe(月黑风高之system疯狂);
2012-2-21
(#7299908@0)
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支持一下司令
-ingale(英格儿);
2012-2-21
(#7299914@0)
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支持
-uptowngirl(若初 朝花夕拾);
2012-2-21
(#7299918@0)
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suport
-abesun(动平衡);
2012-2-21
(#7299920@0)
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俺現在也氣兒不順了，已經抓倆撞槍口上的了，還有木有？ :D
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
(#7299925@0)
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我自己的wounds都是我在没有別人包括父母的地方舔干净的。
-c__wang();
2012-2-21
(#7299926@0)
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i have close friends, they are with me all the time. i appreciated their contribution to my happiness by sacrificing their time & efforts~~~~~
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
(#7299944@0)
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The real cure was and will done by myself.
-c__wang();
2012-2-21
(#7299952@0)
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2 thumbs up for you.
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
(#7299958@0)
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你坚强的让人欣慰又心疼～～～：）
-yoyo23(纯水有香);
2012-2-21
(#7300030@0)
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that made her standing out of others when difficulties come, ONLY the tough ones can survive. :-)
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
(#7300060@0)
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嗯，这是无法回避的事实，所以说问谁都不如问自己～～～
-yoyo23(纯水有香);
2012-2-21
(#7300068@0)
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Oh........ I thought you were taking a Rolia Therapy to copy with your neck injury -- and everyone here was your therapiest. No?:-)
-cca(不归的如来佛);
2012-2-21
(#7300247@0)
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cope?
-c__wang();
2012-2-21
(#7300248@0)
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Much needed spell-check. Thanks.+
-cca(不归的如来佛);
2012-2-21
(#7300264@0)
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whew, now i can answer - all here are indeed supporters. the hard rahab and shots were done without anybody knowing though. this is just an example. this is what i meant the "real cure" the fundamental and substantial portion which nobody else can help
-c__wang();
2012-2-21
(#7300273@0)
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Wow, it must be quite serious. Sorry for the insensitive talks all along. Take care!
-cca(不归的如来佛);
2012-2-21
(#7300295@0)
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你小瞧我了哈。
-c__wang();
2012-2-21
(#7300300@0)
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舔颈锥??? : ))
-abesun(动平衡);
2012-2-21
(#7300415@0)
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嗯，猪的。高压锅弄过的更好些。
-c__wang();
2012-2-21
(#7300439@0)
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我支持你。。。
-redsky(忧伤苹果);
2012-2-21
(#7299932@0)
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没想通，楼上的都支持什么呢？
-c1xwy(洪兴罩俺去战斗);
2012-2-21
(#7299947@0)
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lz's sharing
-abesun(动平衡);
2012-2-21
(#7299963@0)
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那我也支持他sharing。
-c1xwy(洪兴罩俺去战斗);
2012-2-21
(#7299994@0)
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欣赏这种换位思考 empathy (putting self in others shoes) thought ~ ~ -sr-71(Blackbird);
-redsky(忧伤苹果);
2012-2-21
(#7300025@0)
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换位思考意义不大。很多人不赞同贴主的想法和做法，然后说了自己换位的想法和做法，贴主又不满意了。
-c1xwy(洪兴罩俺去战斗);
2012-2-21
(#7300063@0)
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哈哈...你的视角很独特啊...LOL...
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2012-2-21
(#7300076@0)
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很多的"想法"其实是指责. 不少甚至是谩骂.
-wincity(红卫兵);
2012-2-21
(#7300077@0)
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你这求监督的诚意有点欠缺啊～～～
-yoyo23(纯水有香);
2012-2-21
(#7300080@0)
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哈哈...兵哥被抓了现行...:)
-jesse_dd(紫飞鱼);
2012-2-21
(#7300087@0)
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謝謝大家监督. 俺已经有进步了, 不过还需努力.
-wincity(红卫兵);
2012-2-21
(#7300165@0)
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有些人说的话可以直接忽略掉。。那不是说话，是在发泄，更谈不上换位思考。。
-redsky(忧伤苹果);
2012-2-21
(#7300130@0)
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换位思考首先要抛开自己的想法，把自己置身于贴主的位置上，才能有所感受。。每个人的性格、境遇、生活经历都不同，不能简单地根据一些有限的文字去轻易给事情下结论。。很多人看到了贴主性格上的缺陷，而我看到的却是她对婚姻的期望，对老公的失望和对出轨的无奈。。我不赞同她现在的做法，因为我和她的性格不同，但是我理解她。。
-redsky(忧伤苹果);
2012-2-21
{236}
(#7300122@0)
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我也没理解
-xybca(摇曳秋风的葱);
2012-2-21
(#7300787@0)
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如果感同身受了，就会善解人意，但前提是要有一颗compassion mind。。。
-noproblem(密西洒家);
2012-2-21
(#7299971@0)
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支持下
-11219(雪儿);
2012-2-21
(#7299973@0)
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For that particular post, as far as I can see, most of rolians understood her pain and showed their sympathy to her for what she has been suffering and also provided her very helpful suggestions.However, obviously she has some problem in herself too ~~~~~ Now the question is: should we need to pinpoint her problem for her own sake? ~~~
-littlebird09(小小鸟);
2012-2-21
{143}
(#7299980@0)
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honey, forget it~~~~~~~ let's drink coffee!
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
(#7299985@0)
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OK. That means no fix, only pat ~
-littlebird09(小小鸟);
2012-2-21
(#7299993@0)
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my 2 cents: others understanding & sympathy is just a favor, NOT obligation. OVER.
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
(#7299990@0)
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Cheers ~~! Also if only sympathy/empathy is welcome, forum is no needed. Let's hope the sympathy would do the damn work ~~
-littlebird09(小小鸟);
2012-2-21
(#7300001@0)
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My 2 cents. “Understanding & sympathy” is not like candies that you can simply give out as favours. Either you understand & sympathize with someone on something, or you don’t. Favour has nothing to do with it.You’re here to express your opinions – just like we all do here, and reward is that we get satisfaction from doing it for various reasons. Please refrain from using the word “favour” when you make a comment, whether you agree with people or not. It leaves a very bad taste in people’s mouth.
-ordinaryone(ok);
2012-2-21
{297}
(#7300205@0)
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这个。。。行情又变了? 昨天还有人说发帖挣外快，今儿改要付钱了?
-cca(不归的如来佛);
2012-2-21
(#7301103@0)
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俺从现在起是你的粉丝。
-wincity(红卫兵);
2012-2-21
(#7301113@0)
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不是说火车邻座嘛?
-cca(不归的如来佛);
2012-2-21
(#7301202@0)
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+1000. 很多事只有自己亲身经历才能理解.
-wincity(红卫兵);
2012-2-21
(#7300005@0)
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erh.......... but it looks like you understood the story very well............. :pjust kidding............ no offense. :p
-lilianliang(彪妹);
2012-2-21
{39}
(#7300019@0)
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俺读过类似的小说.
-wincity(红卫兵);
2012-2-21
(#7300045@0)
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不否认，有些事是这样的．但是有些是ＣＯＭＭＯＮ ＳＥＮＳＥ，大家还是基本能理解的吧．．．再说最后一句，我看大部分人都是建议她努力解决问题，实在解决不了, 就好离好散. 不要互相折磨， 互相伤害～～～ 我现在看到的是她和她劳工都是受害者～～
-littlebird09(小小鸟);
2012-2-21
(#7300035@0)
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一个人只有认清了自己才能找到问题的根源. 一个不敢面对自己的人永远解决不了问题..
-snow_bird(sunshine);
2012-2-21
(#7300054@0)
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受害者？
-longtengsihai(龙腾四海);
2012-2-21
(#7300158@0)
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她LＧ的生理问题, 她的出轨．．．这些在我看来是互相折磨， 互相伤害～～～不是吗？～～
-littlebird09(小小鸟);
2012-2-21
(#7300174@0)
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很难提出有帮助的解决方法１信息太少，可能性太多；也许当事人自己都不知道所有信息
２她是一个理性，成熟的人，应该已经想尽办法试着解决过了
３也许根本就不存在更好的解决方法
我自问很难给出什么建议，common sense 好象也不缺我这点。所以在原贴里没发什么言。
倒是回复很有意思，很值得研究。
-abesun(动平衡);
2012-2-21
{261}
(#7300404@0)
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相比之下，我更愿意把自己置身于一个社会群体的角度看问题，过于强调个体的独特性往往是对社会群体不负责任的表现。个体出现偏差问题不大，改不改都可以，群体出现问题，那麻烦可就大了去了
-longtengsihai(龙腾四海);
2012-2-21
(#7300155@0)
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Objection. You are saying you prefre collectivism to individulism. I disagree. you are yourself. You are an individual. Nobody can judge you.
-2000enter(匆匆过客);
2012-2-21
(#7300211@0)
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先说说你看到的问题
-abesun(动平衡);
2012-2-21
(#7300426@0)
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男女的情况是不同的。
-newhouse(梦中的苹果树);
2012-2-21
(#7300384@0)
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能否分享一下，除了招致不必要的烦恼，有无招致一些新欢啥的？
-xybca(摇曳秋风的葱);
2012-2-21
(#7300785@0)
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原来离婚的这么多。我只想庆幸自己还拥有婚姻，而且没什么可挑剔的
-jessicalu(知是故人来);
2012-2-21
(#7300983@0)
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表白贴，好!：）
-cca(不归的如来佛);
2012-2-21
(#7301208@0)