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@Baltimore

与老农继续探讨科学的心态篇：Why are people so afraid of confrontation?------Because they are afraid of losing one thing : CONTROL

hotmoon(梵高的耳朵)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛People who have a fear of confrontation are almost deathly afraid of any kind of conflict. We’d all like to have life go along smoothly with everyone getting along. Unfortunately, though, that isn’t always the case. Disagreements and arguments pop up from time to time as a natural part of life. The thought of a little spat can send some people into a cold sweat, and their anxiety about confrontations can keep them from having relationships and achieving their dreams.

And this isn’t as uncommon as you may think. Anywhere from 20-50% of all people fear confrontation in varying degrees.

A fear of confrontation is about one thing: control. You want to be in control to such a degree that you can’t deal with someone else disagreeing with you. Or you’ve felt rejected—which causes a feeling of loss of control-- by someone in a confrontation at some point in your life so you do everything you can to avoid having that unpleasant feeling again.

It’s ok to want to get along with people, but a fear of confrontation gets out of control when you can’t stand up for yourself. For example, you’re in an abusive relationship and you accept the abuse rather than confront your abuser. Or someone takes credit for work you’ve done on your job and you keep quiet about it just to keep the peace. In the end, you just feel trapped and frustrated.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#7211853@0)
Last Updated: 2012-1-14
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下家园 / 人到中年 / 科学的心态篇：成年后的许多心态上的困惑都可以追溯到童年，如果你从小就经常被父母鼓励说出你的想法，你的性格就比较外向，很自信。长大后你也喜欢表达你的心理看法，喜欢与人沟通; -hotmoon(梵高的耳朵); 2012-1-14 {113} (#7211626@0)
    相反 如果父母教育程度底，对小孩粗暴，缺乏关爱，不能容纳不同的意见，你就很内向、自卑，不敢说出自己的想法。


    　
    • 没错。我一直主张嫁人娶媳一定要看对方从小的生长环境，特别是父母的为人处事和性格。我都不知道该怎么强调生长环境对性格心态价值观的形成的重要性。所以父母在推孩子的同时，一定要注重性格心态的培养，否则能力再强再独立也没有用。 -aibengbeng(abb); 2012-1-14 (#7211653@0)
      • Many people are uncomfortable in confrontational situations, and many are not. Some avoid it & some seek it. I think it has a lot to do with up-bringing. -hotmoon(梵高的耳朵); 2012-1-14 (#7211794@0)
    • 没错，（农民也我一把）俺母亲粗暴，不能容纳不同的意见可惜的是她教育程度很高，老娘不论是俺打破别人脑袋，还是别人打破俺的脑袋。漏馅后，俺都是挨一顿暴揍！因此，老农一贯很内向、自卑，从不敢说出自己的想法。咋才能以暴易暴呢？嘿嘿。。 -4_fun(寻开心: 誓别三推); 2012-1-14 {124} (#7211798@0)
      老农最后想出了个绝佳的办法，从女朋友们里选一个她最喜欢的做媳妇。。嘿嘿。。


      从此后她们搞来搞去。。哈哈。。农民翻身得解放
      • 与老农继续探讨科学的心态篇：Why are people so afraid of confrontation?------Because they are afraid of losing one thing : CONTROL -hotmoon(梵高的耳朵); 2012-1-14 {1359} (#7211853@0)
        本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛People who have a fear of confrontation are almost deathly afraid of any kind of conflict. We’d all like to have life go along smoothly with everyone getting along. Unfortunately, though, that isn’t always the case. Disagreements and arguments pop up from time to time as a natural part of life. The thought of a little spat can send some people into a cold sweat, and their anxiety about confrontations can keep them from having relationships and achieving their dreams.

        And this isn’t as uncommon as you may think. Anywhere from 20-50% of all people fear confrontation in varying degrees.

        A fear of confrontation is about one thing: control. You want to be in control to such a degree that you can’t deal with someone else disagreeing with you. Or you’ve felt rejected—which causes a feeling of loss of control-- by someone in a confrontation at some point in your life so you do everything you can to avoid having that unpleasant feeling again.

        It’s ok to want to get along with people, but a fear of confrontation gets out of control when you can’t stand up for yourself. For example, you’re in an abusive relationship and you accept the abuse rather than confront your abuser. Or someone takes credit for work you’ve done on your job and you keep quiet about it just to keep the peace. In the end, you just feel trapped and frustrated.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
        • 妈呀，乖乖美眉。。咱还是歇歇吧！老农民智商太低，有哪么一点点的脑力，还是留着打工用吧！生活嘛，咱用感情好了，那玩意取之不尽，用之不绝。。哈哈哈。。吃，喝，玩，乐，上天，入地，嘿嘿。。只要是能刺激感官的。。老农， 陪您玩？！ -4_fun(寻开心: 誓别三推); 2012-1-14 (#7212409@0)

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