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爱情新解(6) Are you C type or O type?

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛What causes bliss and euphoria of love to turn into conflict and hatred was a mystery to me, though I had several similar experiences in the past. The usual explanation was things changed and people changed too. I was not quite satisfied with the answer.

“The Celestine Prophecy” by James Redfield gave a very convincing explanation. It is about C and O.

In the early stage of love, we all feel energetic and elated. The sky is higher and the grass is greener. We feel our hearts beat together and we can do lots of extraordinary things. When the incredible high wears off, we get down to the ground and start a “real life”. After one year, seven years or fifteen years, the relationship gets boring, dull and colorless if it hasn't already turned into conflict. For some people, the other person whom they chose and loved becomes an enemy.

Why does it happen?

According to his theory, everything in the world is all energy in different form, the same with human beings. We all need energy to sustain our being.

“We are very susceptible to a person of the opposite sex, some other circle half complete, like the letter C, coming up and joining with us-completing the circle that way, and giving us a burst of euphoria and energy that feels like the wholeness that a full connection with the universe produces.”

We need two Cs to form a completion. Imagine two leafs drifting in a flowing river. Each one has a different weight and is affected by the water movement differently. In a long journey, it is very hard for them to drift at the same pace and stay complete the whole time. Also in order to catch up with each other and the water flow, they drag, pull and struggle. Eventually they get exhausted. “This is a classical co-dependent relationship and it has built-in problems that begin to arise sooner or later. “

The O type is self-contained, complete by itself and has a sense of wholeness. There are many things we cannot obtain from the other person. It has to come from within, such as inner happiness, security, fearlessness, love, passion and the purpose of life. Other people can help and facilitate. You might not agree with this, claiming you’ve gotten the things mentioned above from your loved one. Yes, it is a state of completion with two Cs. For some lucky ones, this completion can last for their whole life. But most of us have experienced that for only a short time and eventually lose it.

“We have to complete the circle on our own. We have to stabilize our channel with the universe. That takes time, but afterward we are never susceptible to this problem again and we can have what is called a higher-relationship. When we connect romantically with another whole person after that, we create a super-person…but it never pulls us from the path of our individual evolution. “

Does it mean we don’t need each other?

Usually a whole person can live a happy life. But two Os will form a higher-relationship. They will both be able to give love, make themselves stronger and make the relationship more enjoyable. It is like two heavenly bodies. They may rotate around each other independently and yet embrace each other gently through gravitational pull.

The reason I am here to write this piece is that I used to be a C type and now I’m committed to becoming a O type: a strong, self-contained and free spirited person who is capable of loving and being loved. It feels wonderful, giving plenty of space to each other, helping each other grow and growing together without control and holding back.

For single souls who are searching for the other part, it might be a better idea to look within. 99% of what you need can be supplied by yourself. But the change can only be initiated internally. After you obtain the 99% and you will attract the other person who is holding that critical 1%. The combination will create a great experience of love, wholeness and happiness.

Sounds like a cliché? Well, It has been very true for me.

Becoming and maintaining O type take lifelong effort and commitment. It is not easy but very rewarding. Is it the purpose of our life? Only you can answer that question.

Thanks for reading.

January 1, 2004 Hawaii

Coming…
爱情新解(7) Pain killer
爱情新解(8) Life integration

P.S. If you feel inspired and elated, please give me some feedbacks. I believe we all live in an energy field. When the vibration is at the same frequency, we can feel that. By supporting each other, that will increase the collective energy level and uplift all the people involved更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 爱情新解(6) Are you C type or O type?
    • Thumbs up!!! This part is the best so far. Beyond debating on what love is or appears, the theory gives more supportive and responsive explanation than a simple assumption.
      "Becoming and maintaining O type take lifelong effort and commitment", can't agree more. Having said that, it might not be panacea to every problem, but it is definitely worth a try, especially for individuals who are not sitting and waiting for saviour to pull them out of somehow difficult reality.
      • Thanks for the feedback. Feedbacks always give me more inspirations.:)
        • 男人回味爱情:   初相识:她真美,如同天使。
          本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛男人回味爱情:

            初相识:她真美,如同天使。


            恋爱时:她是世界上最好的姑娘,我一定要娶她!


            结婚1年:我的媳妇还不错,称得上是贤内助,只不过有些小毛病,偶尔也耍耍脾气。


            结婚5年:她开始变得越来越俗不可耐,越来越蛮不讲理。


            结婚10年:她是世界上最丑最不近人情最不讲道理的女人,当初我怎么会娶她?


            结婚20年:不计较那些缺点,除去脾气太糟糕,她还勉强可以容忍。


            结婚30年:有时候她也挺明白事理,挺懂感情,挺会料理生活的。


            结婚40年:老伴真是不错,持家有方,在外可独挡一面,来世一定还要娶她。


            她去世了:我真是说不出的难过,因为我失去了世界上最好的女人。


            女人回味爱情:


            初相识:又笨又呆,真是十足的傻小子!


            恋爱时:他太老实了,不过还挺听话,让人可怜,我会嫁给他吗?


            结婚1年:我的他还不错,知书达理,又会体贴人,还有一点点魅力。


            结婚5年:才发现他聪明绝顶,才华横溢,超凡脱俗,非同一般。


            结婚10年:他是世界上最好的人,真不知道如果没有他,我该如何生活?


            结婚20年:他可以称道可以炫耀的地方真是越来越少了,充其量只能算是个男人。


            结婚30年:他的毛病越来越多,懒惰,愚讷,固执,无能。


            结婚40年:整个又呆又笨的糟老头,下辈子说啥也不能嫁他。


            他去世了:这个死老头子,害了我一生,撇下我就走了更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
        • 其实爱情是一种可怕的东西。 当我从没有接触过它时,我觉得我生活的不错。 和朋友喝喝小酒,唱唱小曲。
          有一天,我遇见了她,她占据我的全部世界,她让我觉得世界只是她才完美。
          我恋爱了。
          朋友都不在了,因为只要她一个电话,我立马从朋友中消失,在她面前出现。
          她不在了,我只好呆在房里,等着她的电话。想知道她开心不开心。

          每天忙碌着,想为我们俩更好的生活而打拼,每天督促着,让她有更好的生活而学习。
          我为她安排着一切,
          一天,
          她说,她对我没感觉了。
          我只会告诉怎么做。关心她不够。
          为了她,我连朋友都快失去了。

          我不知道如何是好,只是祝她开心、快乐。
          我从没有这样爱过一个人,我一向都是爱自己甚过世界。
          可是爱她我却超过爱自己。

          我也许会继续恋爱、然后结婚、生子。
          可我不知道是否能再这样用心的爱一个人。
          我也不知道是否能这样下去。
          时间能治疗一切,可时间越久我越想她,一年半了。

          爱,要怎么才能长久?
    • 写得真好,爱情鸡汤啊!
      • Thanks, Judy. Happy New Year!
    • I could not stand to say something, you are getting much deeper level in love.
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛It is not easy to say agree or disagree, "C" or "O", but I really know it is so cool to enjoy blue sky, white clody, ocean, beach, ...,in beautiful Hawaii while talking of love. You are really good at enjoyness.

      The width and deepth of thoughts are dependent on one's experience: childhood, education, life, environment, people, or something like trip (you have travelled to many places and met many people).

      Thinking over a boy/girl, he/she is seeking for his/her partner, most of these are unavoided to be type "C". Seledom of these people can train/behave himself/herself to attract others in the way of type "O". When they finally can realise that characteristic of "O" is so attractive, they should have enough life experience. You can sense this with yourself, since when you began to transport from "C" to "O". Do you think your life experience, or plus your earler education may help you for the change?

      That is perfect situation to keep in "O" type partnership, self-contained and behaved, leaving free space each other. But it take times or opportunity for one to become this kind of lover.

      Love is beautiful, but it is not so easy to enjoy to most people because of too many reasons.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • Absolutely. I haven't achieved O type yet, but I'm committed. It is lifelong effort and commitment. Everyday is a new day and we grow with time. It is a wonderful feeling :-))
    • 饺子,这篇文章写得真不错。
      • 谢谢,有人看我真开心。:)
        • 不好意思,太忙,只看了这一篇。同感。谈恋爱谈得很理智。C/O也是简化了些。与其说是爱情,其实不如说是自己发展,爱情的类型也不过是这种结果的延伸。
    • You got resonating from Toronto; C turns to O right now.
      • I can feel that. :-)
    • LD没逼着交作业吧?太深了,俺不看了,不过,还是BF!:)
      • 哈哈,我这么懒惰的人要是自己不想干,别人是逼不来的。难得一个下雨天,一个人在家,安静极了,听着Bee Gees,很开心。新年第一天,好预兆!
    • e文我不行。。。谢谢你的文章,希望早日成为O型的人。。。
    • 又是E文地, 受不了了的说。中心思想谁总结出来乐》?
      • 现身说法....
        15年前的今天,我扫了一眼桌上的虾,随后就默默注视着年轻的TA,心下寻思着,不论天涯海角,只要时刻都跟随心爱的他,就是我的幸福人生!

        今天吃饭的时候,看了一眼对面的TA,随后就紧紧盯着桌上的烤大虾,心下寻思着,不论何时何地,只要随时能够吃到美味的虾,就是我的幸福人生!

        我是C型,因为我需要TA或者虾来完美我的人生.
        饺子是O型,所以TA或者虾就显得没那么重要了.

        :P
        • u r cool! :-))
          • 我相信我跟饺子有点心灵感应,下午吃过饭我正琢么为啥泥,于是就瞧见饺子端了这盆鸡汤上来.....
            • 解释的太有趣了!:)
              • 俺希望那一天E文能象你那么好!
        • 嗯, 先核实一下:这两个TA是同一个TA吗??
          • 俺就那么一个TA.....
            • 嗯, 顺便提醒一下, 不确定性别时才用TA
              • no kidding? ..............LOL.
              • 真是的.......糗大了不是...
                • HH, 逗你玩的, 别当真.
        • 我好象是C型啊, 喜欢吃虾
        • 哈哈,总结的好。
        • 大家是C多还是O多啊。我感觉我是C,是不是女生C多,男生O多?
    • 还没找着另一半就变成了O咋办涅?
      kidding :-)

      窃以为两人相处得好不好是EQ的事情. 以前研究过一本关于EQ的书. 就是关于情绪控制方面的一些好和不好的做法之类的.

      即使一个人的是O, 但是EQ有问题的话往往在和爱人相处的时候还是有问题滴.

      所以在看你的文章时有点失去定位感觉. :-( 虽然C/O的说法是一个很好比喻.

      Anyway, 请继续写好文章. 支持一下. :-)
      • 看问题有很多角度,这只是一个角度而已。不图对错,旨在交流和互相启发:)再说,爱情这个题目古今中外讲了整个人类历史那么长了。:)
        • 不过,不少人婚后很少再谈“爱情”,大概认为爱情在那时已经属於比较INTIMATE的话题了。不过象琼瑶那样孜孜不倦的写爱情小说的也有。:-P
          • 我想爱情是自我成长中的一个很重要的一部分,尽管不是全部。:)
            • 呵呵,同意。
          • 其实每个人都需要爱情.
          • 那是因为人总是在变化. 爱是付出. 如果不再付出, 或者不再感觉到别人的付出, 爱情就消失了.
            • 感觉是,婚前也许和朋友谈“爱情”。婚后,“爱情”就是两个人之间的事了。一般说的时候也就是两个人之间的话题。不过,也有象琼瑶那样的,能写20年的纯情小说。其实,我是跑了题。
              • 哈哈,那书店里那好几排关于relationship和love的作家都得喝西北风了:)
      • 那就欣赏呗,就象看烟花一样....
        • 哈哈.
    • Vivid descriptions and great ideas.
    • 如果用中文表达同样的思想, 对作者来说肯定更加得心应手, 但反响会更好还是更差呢? 我看这个系列的话题之所以这么"热", 作者相对纯正的英文起了很大作用, 而不是内容本身. 不信下一篇用中文来写试试.
      • 在这个论坛上中文贴子肯定比英文贴子更多反响,不管是鲜花还是砖头。其实这个系列的起源是前段时间情爱悠悠的讨论很多,就瞎写了一篇,因为电影matrix著名的the one台词,就用英文写的。写起来碰巧比较顺手,就接下去了。:)
        • 应该说你的英文表达之严谨, 在以中文为母语的人当中实属凤毛麟角. 这无疑为你的短文增色不少.
          • 谢谢:)主要是大家比较给面子,挨砖头的时候也不少:)
          • 我揭发,她LD是很崇拜她的NATIVE,都N年了,改也改得有点NATIVE将看不出破绽了哈;)
    • Thank you for the fun read. I believe I have gone through the c to o process. It's nice to see somebody describe the spiritual experience in such a wonderful way.
      Believe it or not, I think I am becoming a Q, meaning that I am not only complete, but I am reaching out even more to the person I love and people in general. And 2 Qs standing together (QQ) look like a lot a fun.

      I agree. 99% of the energy comes from within.

      Great writing. I still remember you talking about differences between wine and liquor (sp.?) when you first showed up here.

      Happy New Year!
      • 哈哈,巧合
        极其形象。昨晚和老公开玩笑,问他什么类型,问急了,他说他是Q,比O还多了个尾巴:)虽然是玩笑,今早看你的贴子,也算是巧合和感应吧。:)

        说起wine和liquor,你不是在夸我这两年半还是有进步的吧,哈哈:P:P:P
        • 一半是夸, 一半是感叹时间过得快. 我记得当时大家还讨论过GLOBAL CITIZEN. 大家围着你砸砖...特别是汪激昂...真快啊!