本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛U.S. CULTURE NOTE
· People from different cultures sometimes don't understand why Americans give so many compliments. In many cultures, too many compliments would seem insincere. For example, many Japanese people think Americans give too many compliments. A Japanese woman said she might give a compliment once a week. An American woman said that she gives at least one compliment a day.
· In many cultures when people have a close relationship (for example two close friends or a husband and a wife), they may not feel that it is necessary to give compliments to the other person. That is, they may not verbalize their thoughts. This is not usually true in the U.S. Even when people know each other well, they will verbalize their thoughts (for example, give compliments).
· A non-U.S.-born employee gave his American supervisor a gift of $200 (two hundred dollars). The employee told the supervisor, "I appreciate you and my job so much that I want you to have this." The American supervisor told him he couldn't accept the gift. The employee said, "You must accept the gift or I will quit." The supervisor told him, "You have to understand that I cannot accept this gift." The supervisor was confused and felt very bad about it when he heard that his employee quit the job.
· Most of the time Americans do accept gifts that people give to them. However, in the working places, supervisors or bosses sometimes feel uncomfortable accepting gifts and are not allowed to do so. The following are some of the reasons:
1. They do not want to feel that they have to do something special or different for the employee who gave a gift.
2. They don't want their other employee to think that they favorites among the employees.
3. They may find it difficult to criticize the their employee's work if they've just received a gift from him or her.
4. Many companies have a policy that says that a supervisor is not allowed to accept gifts from employees.

CHOOSING WORDS FOR COMPLIMENTING
Physical appearance---You have a beautiful smile. Your hair looks nice.
Personality---You have a good sense of humor. He's got a great personality.
Family member---Your wife is beautiful. Your children are cute.
Abilities---You gave an excellent speech. You teach very well
People's things (possessions)---Your car is nice. You have a beautiful home.
Meals, Food---The dinner is great. I love this dish.

Adjectives mostly used:
Nice, good, pretty, wonderful, beautiful, great, interesting, fantastic, attractive, tasty, delicious, gorgeous

GIVING AND RECEIVING GIFTS
Occasion
A meal at someone's home
An overnight stay at someone's home

Typical Gifts
A bottle of wine, flowers, candy
An object from your country (for example, a dish or vase), gifts for the children
Friend's birthdays, particularly the "big" birthdays (21,25, 30, 40, 50, …75, 80, etc.)

Religious ceremonies such as Baptism (Catholic), Confirmation (Catholic), or Bar/Bat Mitzvah (Jewish)
Weddings

Showers (baby showers, wedding showers)


Birth of a baby


Books, records, clothing, decorations for the house, photo albums. (This depends on the person who is giving the gift.)
Books, religious objects. (For this occasions, it is a good idea to ask people for suggestions.)
Items for the home such as dishes, pots, towels, blankets, photo albums
Baby showers: sheets, blankets, diaper bags, baby toys. Wedding shower: usually small things for the kitchen
Clothes, toys, stuffed animals, things for the baby room

Phrases and Expressions for Showing Appreciation
Thank you very much for doing what you did. You really helped me a lot.
I really appreciate your help. It means a lot to me.
Thank you for all you've done. It was a great help.
I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you very much.
I hope I can help you someday the way you helped me.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛U.S. CULTURE NOTE
· Boys and girls are sometimes taught different things about expressing sadness. Some American parents let their little girls cry, but feel uncomfortable when their sons cry. These parents may say, "Don't cry, be a man!" This explains, in part, why men and women don't always express sadness in the same way. This is an example of how culture is learned, that is, how children learn to express emotions from those around them.
· The "U.S." smile is famous. Many people around the world refer to former U.S. president Jimmy Carter's smile. Americans are famous for saying "cheese" when they are being photographed. Americans notice right away when people don't smile in the same situations as those in which they smile. American businessmen think Japanese businessmen too serious in photos because they usually don't smile. Many Americans think Russians don't smile enough or smile at the "wrong" time. Of course there is no "right" or "wrong" time to smile. People's cultural backgrounds often influence when and how often they smile.
· Americans often ask each other, "What's wrong?" if they see by a person's expression that something is bothering him or her. Many people think that you should say what is wrong instead of just acting upset or angry. If a person acts upset, angry, or bothered, but doesn't say anything about it, some Americans think that person is being childish.
· American culture is a very verbal culture. Misunderstanding can occur when someone from a different culture tries to communicate nonverbally (without words), and the American doesn't notice or understand the nonverbal communication. This can also happen between two Americans.
· There are Americans who prefer not to express their emotion verbally or nonverbally. They may try to hide their emotions completely. In a culture made up of so many different types of people, it is not always easy or possible to describe how people react emotionally. In the area of expressing emotions, there can be differences between people of different generations, between men and women and among Americans of different cultural backgrounds. Yet there is still a general belief that it is good to "talking things out" or "getting things off your chest" when there is a problem.

Phrases for Expressing Feelings
· Let me explain how I'm feeling.
· Let me explain how I feel.
· Let me tell you my reaction to that.
· It's not easy for me to say this, but I'm a bit upset about what happened.
· I will try to explain the way I'm feeling, but it's not easy to do.
· I am uncomfortable about what happened because….
· In my culture, we don't usually talk about this, but I'd like to let you know how I feel.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net